How'd We Get Here?

It's September 10th and I struggle a bit on this date because I usually find myself thinking a little bit more about what we went through on this day 5 years ago then what happened to our country and thousands of other families on 9/11/01.  I think it's probably normal but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a tad bit of guilt that goes along with it.

It's hard for me to believe that the boy I put on the bus this morning was having surgery on his head five years ago today.  I can still feel the pit in my stomach and the lump in my throat as if it were yesterday.  

I look at this beautiful, smart, loving, caring, funny and amazing boy of ours and feel so grateful that we had that option to correct what was wrong when we did and with such success.  Where would he be today if we didn't have that choice?  From our research we knew that there was potential for increased brain pressure and vision problems in addition to the difference in his physical appearance.  All reasons that I'm glad we took whatever risk was involved to prevent him from having to face these problems in his future.  Life is hard enough isn't it?  

I also always find myself looking at everyone's head that I meet.  Looking for a similar scar to Gabe's or just the actual shape of their head.  I sometimes am surprised that along our journeys I have yet to see anyone that looks like they had the surgery or for that fact didn't.  The odds of having sagittal synostosis are like 1 in 4000 to 1 in 8500 so I suppose it's logical that I wouldn't see anyone with it, I mean have I seen that many people in the last five years?  I don't know.  

Anyhow, here we are five years later and every day I fall more in love with that little boy of ours.  He continues to amaze me and make me smile in so many ways.  Not that I wouldn't feel the exact same way if he hadn't had the surgery, but I think I feel that much more grateful for who he is today because of it.